remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
