You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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