its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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