He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
