I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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