I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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