I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
