Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
