I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
