i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
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