I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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