I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
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