i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
