I'm drive I can fine osifer
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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