DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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