every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
