I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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