If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize