He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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