I CAN MOONWALK!
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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