the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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