Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
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Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
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Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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