The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
vagina is talking i cant
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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