Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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