i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
