6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
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