I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
