Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
