My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...