Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
