Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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