She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
