i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Dear god my vagina.
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