i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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