Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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