So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
