mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
