im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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