bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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