I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
