That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
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