Kiss
Puke
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
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Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
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yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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