you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
