How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
well you can't waste a boner
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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