I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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