Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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