Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
