I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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