Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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