But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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