apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize