i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I touched a dick in church today
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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