I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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