do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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