btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
She bit a glass in half.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize