i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
