So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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