Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
