If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
